Tag Archives: nj

Stream

Crying a lot more
Randomly driving home
Slinking away from people

Maybe it’s constantly being alone
Echoes being my welcome
A pillow to hold onto through night

Maybe it’s all the regrets
Lives that I pretended
Loves that I rejected

Maybe it’s the multiverse
Showing me how it could have been
Infinite possibilities now impossible to me

Maybe it’s traversing the wrong road
Calling in blockades down the path
Setting up traps to misdirect

Maybe it’s just my destiny
To show how horrible things can end up
How the man in public hides secret pain

Maybe I don’t matter
Begging for ears to listen
Bellowing madness to the dark
Pleases to whys to denials
Chasing the paces to disgraces
Misstepping placating promises
Coronating the confection through…
…rhymes?
What am I saying?
Attempting beauty from disaster
Mercy to the failed angels
Those who looked but couldn’t help
Maddening cruise off the cliff

I wished for a halo
A peace to rub my shoulders
Soft whispers beaming love
Sedate the anxiety before awaking

I received damnation
A riot to punch me in the face
Harsh screams crusading through blood
Adrenaline panic after stumbling

So many streams leading to one place
Why is this journey so difficult?

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For Fuck’s Sake

Another shuttered misstep
Blood coursing through damp hair
Eyes ablaze with the passion of injury
Taking breaths of gravel through pants
Moving over the pain towards exaggeration
Lash forward with a growl
Lighting striking an unexplored region
Falling back towards a hole of decay
Landing against mechanical metal
Pupils hazed by a whirlwind of direction
Seized by the opening earth below
A distorted voice booming through the fog
Listing the fired violations to dead ears
Right before the lights turned out
Realizing my modulated virtue was fucked

Burned Bridges

I used to say fuck it
So many more roads to travel
Time was my friend
I didn’t know it was a bitter bitch
Relentless in how the past reverberates
Technology throws my mistakes back at my eyes
Pictures of happy eyes and wholesome resolve
Hand in hand, hanging out under mistletoe
So many have found their equation
The path must be so clear to them
Looking back at me with thanks
Thanks that they left me behind
Knowing I would have never stacked up
As I look around I wonder where else to go
I have fucked up so many things
Made a fool of myself to so many
A walking joke and a defined failure
Forged from bad mistakes and late nights

Candid Conference

This has been a long time coming
We thought you could repair the destruction
Rise up like the prophecy foretold
You were going to conquer it all and win
The foundation was supposed to stand
Kingdoms were thought to prosper
Kiss the princess and make her a queen
Buy a ring and raise replicas of both
An honest life to live
A nobility you said you always wanted
Though you fucked it up
Your fucking vacuous infatuations
Preferring the dark night over the bright day
Pixels on a screen appeal more to you
Using fire to put out fires
All of your perspectives
Are
Completely
Fucked
You took so many wrong turns no road exists
Wheels popped, rations exhausted
Run away from gunfire
Got lost in the woods
Living amongst the lost
Now simply a beast
Negating the positives
Preferring misguided adventures
Sitting alone in dry weather
Panicking through packed crowds
Loosing balance when bracing stability
So you ran away
Forgot all possibilities
Hypnotized yourself through man’s creations
Ignoring the beauty in God’s creations
Stating your preferred exit sign
Ticket for one, one way.

The Attempts

I just can’t keep up the facade
A convalescent juxtaposition against greatness
All the debts I pretended to pay
The destitute constitution I disregarded
Shallow waters drown me
The depth shortens my breathe
Surrounded by reverberations of salacious samples
Frown while fighting for a handful of steps
Say it with your chest but express it with your tears
Drone the pings bouncing down the surface
Couldn’t have defended the frontline
A barrage of soulless sectors invading the day
Calendar count the times defiance fell to its knees
A slackened defense against a violent offense
Drink the martini forget the slandered sucker punched disgrace
Drown over and over again in the glow of a moon
The only true light shining in the fluorescent glow
Break the glass
Stammer through grass
Calloused kinships to summon
Through the desert I dragged myself
Down the toilet I had to drown
Shrug the trepidation
Stall the static inference
Dire doom stare
Telling tallies

All attempts fell short
Half-hearted desire stifled
Never really believed in anything
So I fell for everything
A modern day messiah.