Missing Out

I can’t help but feel like I’m not where I should be
I have ventured down some endless side road
No life but the lights in my head
Solitude that somehow invaded
Creeping the strings that hold your heart
Looking ugly in the mirror after the start
I’ve lost almost every battle I’ve fought
What makes it worst was I did it on purpose
I set myself up to lose
I only know this because I see the parallel life
Everything that could have been achieved
A future that was being handed to me
A choice of a wife, a career, a house
No dark nights medicated under a howling wind
Only love and proper meals
Receiving a kiss for almost all the rest of my days
That is what I gave up
In some immature smack of the hand
Rejecting things that pled to be accepted
Made cases for how it would save me
Though I didn’t care
I moved alone into the desert
Leaving the future to shatter with disbelief
Now I am in the other zone
Where there is no meaning to my future
Just a roadblock in the way of others
A memory most will choose to forget
Just a footnote amongst infinite depth

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