Monthly Archives: June 2014

Return

This place never stopped
I left and returned again
I am changed
This place has changed
There are new borders
Nicer decor to welcome
Enhanced entrances
Smoother exits
That is how change should occur
For the better
Unlike my sad state
Sins piled on top of sins
Regrets sit next to regrets
I never learned how to smooth my edges
Always bullshit piled on bullshit
Never wanting to admit I lost my way
Never asking for directions
Never knowing where home is

I see this place and I look in a mirror
How dare I act this way
I could have been so much more
More than a broken down motel
Vacancy sign over my soul
Doors boarded up long ago
Just me, alone.

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Sentencing

I am never sure of which way to turn
Forks in the road confuse me
Commitment makes me feel anxious
Decisions make me nervous
If I could only see the end game
Which direction has the better outcome
Choosing wouldn’t be so hard
But when we jump off the cliff
We realize that there is no turning back
That other future is now dead
Forever lost in the ‘what ifs’ of life
It’s outcome shrouded in death
Now you fall towards the future
Unsure if the better road was chosen
The mystery of life unfolds
Then envelopes you
You have been sentenced to every step you take.

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What Sheep Say

I’m back at the prologue
All the shit that didn’t happen yet
I taste the food
Indulge in drink
I think about all that has passed
The torment and the struggle
The successes and plateaus
The exhaustion and disillusionment
No one should return to that desolation
Psychos making the calls
Their fingers on the red button
I tried to change the course of the wind
How foolish of me
There are things that will never change
Decay is one of them
Try all you want
Fight the good fight for all of humanity
Everyone will scoff at your attempts
It is impossible to fix a broken society
Your help isn’t wanted
It is thrown away like used gum
Every amount of effort you put in
Thrown to the asphalt like garbage
How discouraging
How defeating
No support from a broken system
A wasteland full of administrative idiots
A wasteland full of deprived potential

Opposites attract
Your positivity in a negative environment
It makes sick sense.

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No Changes

I really thought that was an exit sign
Maybe I didn’t gain enough traction
Maybe it was locked from the beginning
The hole can’t be ignored
I made plans for the shift in order
Hoped for a new horizon over my eyes
It was all rejected
Turn your back to the sunlight
Walk back to the darkness
That essence you have always adored
The dark we hear in your music
In your voice
In your eyes

Where do I find myself now?
Back at the start
Somewhere I needed to leave
But now I am damned
Forever a servant to streets of decay
I see religion across the ocean of asphalt
I see none in my halls
Portraits of failure plastered to my wall
Cheer for more entropy
Applaud the fleeting memory of your work

Here I am
Down in the hole
The walls close in
I look down

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Red Hair

There was a girl with red hair
She kept me occupied in a lonely hour
I told her of my atrocities
She told me how to save the world
Validating that was not easy
So much evidence against the negative
Not enough for positive
Then she said something
“One person saved is enough”
Just one person
How many have I saved?
The numerical calculations are hard to define
Could one person ever be saved?
A red head said they could
Though I’ve always thought they were crazy
Hair ablaze with grand designs and convoluted paths

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The Day After

Showered with hazed memories
Sweat dried in lengthy hair
The smell of something foreign
A thousand yard stare with the pounding of stone
Dry mouth wet with desire
One more plus one more equals infinity
A circular motion rife with false decadence
Breaking the stride is impossible
Jumping from one cloud to the next
Always falling down

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