Defeated Promise

Here I am again
Sitting across marble
Releasing liquid distraction into my body
Greasy food and dense women
A depthless hole to wander in to
When I’m alone I ponder these choices
Why can’t I take hold of this life?
Can’t I find my way back to the path?
When I look around I see decay
Asphalt covering our beautiful earth
Skyscrapers replacing trees
This is not how I was meant to live
Inviting the destruction into my soul
Emulating the world through my habits
Assuming sanctuary will find me
Never thinking I’m too far in the shadows
I can almost feel my skin morph
Fangs, scars, bloodshot
As I completely transform into something else
I remember a promise I made long ago
“Don’t ever give in. Don’t become them”
That was back when I had ground to support me
Back when I could turn to people
Back when I had a purpose in this sphere
Now I am ugly
I have transformed
I am the maggots at the bottom
I am destroying myself
I am lost
I can’t find the light.

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